We are never taught to love ourselves, I as a woman was never told to do what my heart desires. Instead, I was always ordered or say in rather better words, rules were imposed on me since childhood to do according to what people around me expect me to do. I was always told to never talk much, don’t laugh loud, sit properly, don’t wear this and there is a huge list.
But as I grew up, I started to question everything in my own mind. Why can’t I speak my heart? Why can’t I put forward own opinions when I feel something is wrong? Why can’t I wear something that I feel comfortable in and not what the society expects me to do? Why can’t I just be me? But then through writing, I share my heart out and so today I am writing down things that we actually need to teach our daughters.
1. Self-love comes first:
We need to teach them that they as an individual do hold importance. They need to first learn to love themselves, respect themselves and appreciate themselves before anything or anyone else. There is no need to sacrifice their own needs and wants, respect, wishes, or dreams for anyone else. They should learn to love themselves as they are and not fall as a prey to the fake beauty endorsed on social media or in peer-pressure or sacrifice a part of themselves for someone else. We need to teach them that they are special and so make them feel the same.
2. Beauty lies within them:
We need to teach our daughters that beauty is not what we see outside but what we feel inside. Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder; this is something we all need to truly believe in. No matter what is the colour of the skin, no matter what size they belong to, no matter if they are not into fashion or makeup or just want to enjoy their shorts and pajamas. It’s okay to just be the way we are, and it is okay to not follow the trend. Just be the way you are because again let me remind you, you are special.
3. Confidence is the real treasure:
Most women out there lack confidence. They try to mold themselves as people around have expected them to be, they don’t have the confidence in them to believe in themselves and to prove themselves and so they give up on a lot of wishes and dreams in their life. What we need to teach our daughters is, this world is not a good place and so to survive we must be strong and confident enough about ourselves and do what we want. No one is coming to save you or push you towards what your heart desires you to do, if you want it, go get it. Be confident, be strong. Believe in yourself and live your life the way you want to.
4. Failures are a part of life:
Our daughters need to learn that failures are a part of life, in fact without failing one won’t realize the true happiness to be a successful person. So if you as a daughter chose to walk on the path of your own choice, there will be failures and people will surely mock at you for doing what you want and then be failing it because they don’t have the courage to do what you are doing. So fail ten times but don’t you give up. Failures are part of life, accept the defeat with a smile and get back to the fight again…
5. Be independent:
When I say be independent, it is important that we teach our daughters to be independent both financially and mentally. We need to make them learn never to depend on anyone for any reason, just remember one thing people will come and go in life, all you have to do is take the good from them and let go of the bad. Nothing and no one is permanent in this world. So stay independent both financially and get all those things that make you happy and be mentally strong.
6. Never settle for anything less:
We as daughters are always told to sacrifice and compromise our wishes and wants. Why? We need to teach our daughters to fight and work hard to achieve the things they wish to get or want in life rather than waiting and expecting someone else to get what they want. Never settle for less is what we need to teach our daughters and this, I feel is the most important lesson to teach because I see a lot of woman living a life they never wished to live and living in a cage.
7. Be adventurous:
We need to let our daughters set free and let them be adventurous in every aspect of life. They have one life to live, why limit them when they have the right to do what they wish to do? Why men have all the rights to do everything but even in this era a woman has to sacrifice all her wishes and wait for a prince charm to come and make her wish list come true? Why can’t she herself be adventurous, go chase her dreams, fall and get back to life, live life and experience and learn from her own experience, breath and set free your daughters, it is time every daughter to bloom as a strong woman than a caged bird.
8. Perfection is over-rated:
This is something we need to really pay more attention to. Our daughters are always told to be an all-rounder and be perfect in everything they do. Why? Aren’t our daughters human? There is so much pressure on a woman to be perfect in every aspect of life, from looking perfect to have a perfect figure, to perfect education and knowing every cuisine to cook and not to forget the perfect round chapatti. We need to teach our daughters that it is okay to not be a perfect all-rounder but be perfect in what they wish to do. Compete with themselves and not get into the race of competition that this society is blindly following.
9. Don’t be judgemental and learn to respect everyone:
We as woman are easily falling in prey to either being judged or easily judging others. One thing I try myself and keep telling others as well that we are no one to judge someone else. One thing I have noticed in woman is they are always trying to pull other woman down, rather we as woman should try to help each other and so we must make our daughters learn that woman should never try to be an enemy to another woman in fact we must try to be there for each other and pull the others up when they fall. We must teach our daughters since childhood itself, to respect everyone and never be judgemental. Accept everyone as they are.
In all, we must teach our daughters to believe in themselves, to be strong, independent, and have the courage to see dreams and accomplish them. Teach them to love themselves and love others around, to enjoy every moment in their life and not be dependent on anyone.
The day I be a mother to a daughter, I will make her stand in front of the mirror everyday and remind her that she is beautiful the way she is and ask her to look at herself and tell her, there is no superman or any prince charming coming to save you, you have to save your own self, you have to be your own superhero, so you have to be strong and independent, and then one day if someone still loves you the way you are, that is your soul-mate and not the one who wishes to control you or dominate you and most importantly I will make sure she loves herself first before letting a man enter her life. Self-love is most important and we need to teach not only our daughters but also to our son’s.