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“When in love, one feels so special, beautiful and so on…”

But, hey wait! Didn’t you looked this beautiful before that happened? Didn’t you enjoy your own company or feel special? It took me 5 years of being in a relationship to know how being in a relationship with self means a lot. I don’t deny the fact that I enjoy my boyfriend’s company, but with or without knowing, both of us have been hacking our hearts ethically in the name of love.

It started with petite things and then began to spread just like the way mother of all bombs did to Afganistan. He gradually started to creep in to my life and I too followed him to get into his life. Preferences changed. Outfits changed. Our lives that flourished with our own bunch of ideologies, roots of desires and barks of achievements and glories started fading away with intrusion.

Though we were and are okay with these changes, we keep thinking and asking ourselves why should one undress one’s own identity for love! Every time I feel annoyed with his decision, he is left with no choice but to pacify me with his gyans. His way of deciphering the problem is entirely different from the way I do. According to me relationship is a cliché that kills the chance of being the original self.

When we take a collective effort to debug the issues in our lives, some error occurs and we end up building it again, as we look forward to having a constructive lifestyle. Yet we commit the same mistake of influencing each other in terms of career or any other decisions. Well, you may call it love, but to me it is spamming one’s life with loads of junk.

I don’t want a relationship to either encourage or discourage me. It is a chapter of my life where I enjoy a person’s company for quite a longer period. It is walking along with the person in all walks of life and not leading or escorting him/her. It is encouraging you to be more of yourself than being someone else’s better half. It is a reason to respect each other’s feelings. It lets you see the other as a human rather than seeing him/her as a MAN or a WOMAN. I respect his choice and not his gender. So, right now I am in a relationship with myself. So, am I single or committed?

This is Varalakshmi, an ordinary commoner who tries to weave a story with my own experiences. I work as Content Marketing specialist in a startup. Creativity is my cup of tea, coffee, wine and all possible beverages I love. Writing blogs let me talk to myself and other who fall in my wavelength. Cheers.

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