We have always feared death for this is unknown to us. No one has ever returned to tell the tale. It is always a mystery, what is the fear for.
I grew up listening how my grandfather died in a road accident where his head was smashed.
I was about 10 years old, riding my bicycle around railway tracks and saw people gathered. Out of curiosity, I went there and saw three mutilated bodies of laborers got run over by a moving train. That was my first tryst with death and dead bodies. That image haunted me for years, how painful it would have been for them to die.
Zoom past another decade and one of my uncles met with a road accident. Broken bones, lung puncture and death. I could only imagine the pain he would have gone through.
Another 10 years and my mother passed away due to prolonged illness.
I always wondered how painful death would be.
Two years ago, I was advised a surgery under general anesthesia. I kept on delaying it for the fear of death.
Eventually, I overcame my fears and went for the surgery last year. I distinctly remember how I was talking to my anesthetist while he injected the medicines. I could feel drowning into a sudden sleep. That was it and I woke up in the recovery area.
If I would have died during your surgery, death would have been as simple as that one sleep, that one deep sleep. The deep sleep where I didn’t know if I belonged to someone or if someone belonged to me. The sleep where I could feel nothing.
So, what is the pain of death? Death wasn’t painful at all. Keeping aside the thought of what would happen to our loved ones, it is the wait for that deep sleep to arrive, the thoughts that cross your mind during that wait including the inability to imagine how there won’t be tomorrow, that is what is painful.
I have understood death and life is more meaningful now.