Hey there! Yours truly recently moved to Mumbai and since then has been living a pretty simple (read boring life). I mean, the workload drains me out during the weekdays, and I hardly have any friends to hang out with during the weekends. It was then, that some empathetic colleague suggested me this revolutionary thing called ‘Tinder’ and honestly, it changed my life dramatically!
Now, instead of sitting idle on weekends, I exercise my thumb on this app. Wait, what? You thought I’ll be going out on dates? Duh, I ain’t no stud!
But well, my Tinder journey helped me come across some interesting people.
Read on to know more about the six kinds of people you’ll surely come across on Tinder (And trust me, #3 will blow your mind!)
1. The (over) confident
You’ll find girls belonging to this tribe in plenty. It’s pretty easy to spot them. All that their profile boasts of, is a bunch of some extremely good pictures – you know, the ensemble of selfies, the pouts, with the pets – you getting me, aren’t you? That’s it! Finito! Their confidence level is soaring so high that they wouldn’t even bother to have even a single line of introduction. Well, as they say, in the world of Tinder, you got to judge some books by their covers.
2. The ‘guess who’
These are a one of a kind species: the sweet and very social women who love to be around a group others. Their only problem, they would want to feature all those people even on their Tinder profile. And, there is no way you can figure out who amongst the group is this girl out of all of them! Fret not, this is where your math and logical reasoning skills come into play. Analyse every photo, identify a pattern – someone who is there in all the pictures. And, the one person with the highest frequency is perhaps the one you’re looking for! If you are too much of a lazy bum to do this, swipe left; but if you’re the hardworking types, go ahead and show off your analytical skills!
3. The ‘Out of League’
Girls of this kind exist only for a reality check of an average male. You know, you come to her profile, use your stalking skills, check out her pictures, where she’s probably sunbathing at an exotic beach or partying at a club, and at least one picture in a desi avatar where she’s looking DROP DEAD GORGEOUS! This is the moment when reality kicks in and you realize how average you are. You then simply swipe left, because even a right swipe wouldn’t have moved mountains; am I right?
4. The ‘Mysterious one’
For all the mystery lovers out there – she’s the one! She’ll have all kind of pictures, from sunrise in the mountains, to sunset at the Marine Drive. But not even a single picture of herself. These kinda girls, sometimes, to add a little more to the mystery will go on to pose with their arms wide open welcoming the early monsoon showers and their back to the camera. Now here’s a 50-50 chance that you’ll have to take. Reader discretion advised.
5. The ‘Grammar? What’s that?’
This, perhaps, is the most annoying crowd to have joined Tinder! Picture this, you spend a couple of hours getting your profile right – spell checked, uploaded some of your best pictures. Put in a lot of hard work on your Tinder bio more than you ever worked on your resume… and then spending another couple of hours going through various profiles. And then, if you are lucky enough, you get a ‘match’! With all the grammar you’ve learned through Wren & Martin, you put up a chivalrous charade out there to say, “Hey Mademoiselle, how’re you doing?”, only to get a reply saying, “m gud, wbu”. This is the point, my friend! And then you un-match, uninstall Tinder, and throw away your phone! I mean you’re not expecting a lit-fest on tinder, but hey, you aren’t talking on SMS either.
6. The perfect one
Well, don’t fall for this one for sure, because the perfect one doesn’t exist. At least, not on Tinder. Look out of your screen, meet people around you. Who knows, maybe she is sitting right next to your cubicle while you’re reading this rant?