Wedding season is around the corner and everyone is trying to have an appointment in the salons to polish their body and face to look good than the other in the week-long celebrations we Indian are famous for.
While the wedding season is going on, one of my friends is having fun to meet a new guy every other day. She has a perfect wish-list for her perfect prince charm and when the guy fails to have even one quality in him she ticks him off her list and goes to the next.
I was in my teenage phase, when one of my cousin who was ready to settle down was asked by an aunt “what kind of a guy would you prefer to have in your life?” and my cousin gave her a perplexed look and after some seconds she answered “A guy who is healthy enough to work and earn and have sense of responsibility also to add on is not a male chauvinist.”
The aunt laughed as if my cousin asked for a gorilla to marry. “No, that is not how you look for your perfect man dear. Girl’s these days don’t know anything.” And then the aunt went on with the qualifications one girl should look for in men while finding her life partner.
“You should always look for a man who is handsome and has a better personality, your friends should get jealous you see, and should always hunt for rich and NRI guys and that is how you get everything that you want and can enjoy your kitty parties with costly dress and jewelry. It helps to retain your status and you get to meet people with high status, you see. You see every NRI guys can afford to give you diamond ring and that stone my dear, is what every girl dreams of and the costlier the ring the more he loves you… and she went on and on and on…”
Thankfully my cousin is happily married to an Indian, who had gifted her decent engagement ring which she still loves it and wears it and is also having kids now.
That time I was too young to understand but today when I recall the scene I wonder if the aunt wanted to find a guy or was specifying the way those newspaper advertisements expects the candidates to have qualifications in their C.V. And since when the cost of diamond ring started to measure how much the guy loves?
Why so much of expectations when we are trying to search for our soul mates, when we all agree that we simply as humans cannot be perfect in anyway. The looks are going to fade one day, and about the money and the diamond stone you talking about, why a woman needs a guy for it? In this generation where women are emerging to rule and prosper in almost every aspects and field, why do we expect to get that decadent luxury from a man when a woman can get them on her own.
However, if we go another way round, men have the similar kind of desire and expectations when it comes to their perfect woman. She should be fair, good at cooking, high qualifications, perfect curves, not too thin, not too fat and the list goes on and on. But where in which world book has it been written that only a woman should learn to cook and not the men?
What if it was this way, after getting married the couples should start cooking together and learn to cook together or join some cooking class. I wonder the bond would go so strong and there would be more love emerging and the responsibility would go hand in hand.
About body figure, a woman is expected to have everything perfect forgetting that she is simply a human and she has to go through a lot, be it physical or emotional. She is going to give birth to a new life and her body will change. You can’t expect her to be like perfect as ever.
It is truly said, expectations hurt. We every time try to keep our expectations high. Why? Why can’t we just be simple and sober? No human is perfect and try not to expect them to be perfect. Find a soul mate who loves you the way you are with every imperfection in you and still find you perfect and respect you.