I recently happened meet a bunch of school friends; courtesy – Facebook. An old batch-mate shared a long lost group photo on FB, one thing led to another, and we had our reunion. Meeting some of those schoolmates who had now become doctors, engineers, CAs, bankers, and well, a few obnoxious bastards who were little devils about 15 years ago, was great fun!
But this isn’t about them, but about an interesting interaction that I had with two of them – one who said his job sucked, and the other who was going through a turbulent phase in his relationship. And I. being quite the analyst myself, started to draw parallels between them, which led me to believe that a job & a relationship are pretty much the same thing (at times).
A job interview is a lot like a first date. You get an interview call from a job portal, a direct recruiter or maybe campus placement, pretty much how a hostel wala friend, office wali colleague, a random visit to a club, or tinder (if you’re lucky enough), set you up for the first date. In both the cases, in a matter of some tensed and awkward moments, you tackle a volley of some general questions like your background, your skills, interests, etc. to trick questions like your expectations. Successful performance in this barrage leads to your selection. Congratulations!
There’s a reason why honeymoon period is called so. It is because you’re basically honeymooning in this period. Everything is hunky dory. You look around the world with rose-tinted glasses. This is the best thing ever to have happened to you. You’ll go out of the way to impress your partner/employer, and surprisingly, they would pretty much do the same. You know, no major targets, not much pressure. Yup. Stuff like that.
It is the job equivalent of ‘we just started seeing each other’. This is the in-between period of honeymoon and actual life wherein you’re still getting used to of the new deal, learning new things and you’re basically on your own. Though you have a margin of error, it’s in your best interest to avoid committing any.
Boss & GF/BF
Legends say these creatures are insatiable, to say the least. In fact, no matter what you do, you just cannot satisfy them. Every time you do something great, all you’re doing is increasing their expectations which, if not met in the future, can lead to mild to extremely disastrous consequences depending on the magnitude of error committed. According to experts of the matter, a boss is like a partner gone wrong, or, in some cases, the partner is like the khadus boss. Take your pick, depending on whichever boat you’re sailing in.
The tough time
By the time you reach here, reality kicks in. Turbulence strikes. It is that phase in which nothing goes your way. Your job officially sucks. The relationship is in chaos. You start to seek a way out to soothe yourself. On the professional front, you start looking for a new job and appearing for interviews. On the personal front, you are in pursuit of happiness and seek shelter elsewhere. In both the cases, eventually, coming back to square one, desperately hoping that things improve.
The ‘what next’
In here, you realize that things aren’t just working out. Maybe the two of you were never meant for each other. But it isn’t all that easy to walk away, is it? True, it isn’t the most excellent period, but you sure had your moments together. At some point in your life, your job and your relationship ceases to be just about you. There are responsibilities to be shouldered and families involved. And even if you do decide to break away, the decision making isn’t a cake walk. Your thoughts are marred with doubts and what ifs. What if, even the next one doesn’t work out? What if, this was ‘the one’ and you somewhere goofed up? Does this deserve another chance?
Things start to pile up. There’s a lot that you want to say, a lot that you want to do. But you keep avoiding that. You tend to think, overthink, and rationalize everything you are about to say or do. Emotions keep building within. You want to ensure that whatever you do is a well-thought decision and not a knee jerk reaction. And then one day, you just snap. The volcano erupts. You can no longer take this. You eventually decide to break away and put yourself, and the other out of this misery.
Breakups are never easy. Moving on, is indeed, all the more difficult. You tend to become a lot cautious; both, in terms of a relationship or job. You don’t take any job opportunity on its face value now and won’t sign the dotted line till you have conducted your own thorough investigation into the company. Similarly, you are not ready for the dating scene yet, you aren’t in the right frame of mind. Every prospect is either a creep, a kandha, or a rebound which you are super keen to avoid. After all, once bitten twice shy. Be it a job or a relationship, you aren’t getting into one the second time till the time you’ve assured yourself that this has a future.
And that’s all from my side. This article ain’t got any conclusion or an end. Because this is neither a story nor a film. You may make a different choice than me. I might have a different reasoning than you. Let’s just leave it that way and let our inner thoughts channelize us.